


i'ma lose it (if you're not by my side)

by lilykat



Series: if i fell in love with you, would you bring me the moon (or broken beer bottles and fresh war wounds)? [4]
Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27260650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilykat/pseuds/lilykat
Summary: "He was frozen in his spot, glued there by fear and he couldn't move."
Relationships: Black & White (Among Us), Black/White (Among Us)
Series: if i fell in love with you, would you bring me the moon (or broken beer bottles and fresh war wounds)? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986031
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	i'ma lose it (if you're not by my side)

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of blood and panic attacks. This was my first time trying to write something a little spooky and I definitely could've added more spookyness but this all my mind could do right now so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Do you wanna take a quick break,” White asked, his voice a low whisper. He nodded his head in the direction of storage, his hand was already tugging Black's arm in that direction but he pulled it away.

“I just wanna finish,” he mumbled. His fingers were shaking as he fixed the wires. The constant tremble was new. He wasn’t getting enough sleep, he wasn’t eating enough, he wasn’t doing enough of anything. The impostor, or impostors, were constantly sabotaging things around the ship and locking doors, trapping people together who were terrified to be with anyone. 

It’s only been two days since they found Red's body and everything sucks. Nobody trusts each other anymore. No one lingers in the hallway to chat between tasks anymore. No one does anything anymore. They do their tasks in a hurry and run straight to the cafeteria, too afraid to do or be anywhere else. The ship is suffocating now. The tense atmosphere presses against your skin everywhere you go. 

He’s gotten used to the feeling of his lungs constantly shrinking and struggling to take in air. He’s gotten used to the concerned-filled glances White sends his way, as well as the small touches of reassurances whenever they’re alone. Like right now. White's warm hand lying heavily on his shoulder with his thumb moving in slow circles. He wanted to shy away from it, push his hand off and quickly finish fixing the wires, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t crave it. Crave everything White had to offer. 

He blew out a long breath and fixed the last wire before closing the panel and looking at White expectantly. “Your turn.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a small break,” he asked again, “just for a few minutes?”

Black really wanted to say yes. He wanted to go back to the storage room, maybe dance again, or even just stand there silently together, but he shook his head no. They should just finish their tasks and go to the cafeteria. 

White must’ve seen his hesitation because the next thing he knows is that he’s being dragged into storage. “You need a break. I haven’t seen you stop moving once, you’re constantly keeping yourself busy.”

_Because when I stop and think, I think about everything and I’d rather think nothing._

His feet carried him to the window and he looked out at the nothingness. He drummed his shaky fingers against the glass, he needed to keep moving something. If he went still he’d think about how tired he is, how hungry he is, and how badly he just wants to stay in here. The image of Red's unseeing eyes staring at him made him flinch away from the window. His soul automatically seeking comfort from White who had his warm hand gently gripping the back of his neck.

White moved in front of him and gently urged him forward. Black gave in and gave a contented hum when their foreheads met in a kiss. White had been doing this a lot lately and randomly and always in private. Black didn’t like it at first much, their faces were too close together, so easy for Black to lean in all the way. But then the more White did it, the more Black enjoyed it, letting himself take a breather during these few seconds. 

When White pulled away, Black's fingers itched to pull him back again and but he curled them into fists. “Can we go now,” he asked. 

“Yes.”

They ran into Blue and Cyan in the hallway, who gave them tense nods and hurried to wherever they were going. Black pretended not to notice the flinches and the fear in their eyes. Black scratched his palm and then furrowed his brows when he noticed they were bare. He hadn’t even realized he had taken his gloves off. “Wait, I left my gloves in storage.”

They turned around and before White could enter with him, the door shut. Then Black was plunged into darkness as the alarm started blaring. His breath got stuck in this throat and he ran to the door and started banging on it. “White!” 

The emergency lights turned on and flashed a blood-red. He shuddered and hit the door more frantically. “White!” The room was constantly flashing between black and red. He got no reply besides the thumps of people running by. And then he heard nothing at all.

His shaking got worse and his breathing was coming faster and harsher and his mind was going hazy with panic. He didn’t want to die, please don’t let him die. He wanted off of this ship and he wanted to be on the ground again where he was stable and secure. He heard something underneath the floor and his breath hitched. He crawled as carefully and quietly as he could behind a stack of crates and squeezed himself into the corner. He covered his mouth with his hands and screwed his eyes shut. He felt tears drip onto his hands and he pleaded with anyone that’d listen to please _don’t let me die, please, I don’t want to die, please, please, please, please…_

A creak broke the silence in the room and the sound of someone crawling out of the vent followed. The footsteps were light and quick, circling the room and checking behind crates and moving things out of the way. 

They were plunged into darkness again and then hit with bright white lights. Black mentally cursed and hoped whoever was in here wouldn’t wander over to his hiding spot. They’d see him if they did. Curled pathetically into a corner, with hot tears streaming down his face and a garbled mix of English and Spanish words being mouthed into his palms, silent pleas he was clinging to.

The storage doors hissed open just as the person scrambled back into the vent. 

He didn’t move. He tried to tell himself to move but he couldn’t. He was frozen in his spot, glued there by fear and he couldn’t move. Not until he felt small hands reach under his arms and hoist him up off the ground. His eyes snapped to Yellow who was crying in relief as she hugged him. He saw Purple behind her who pulled them both out of there and led them to the cafeteria, keeping a trembling hand on both of them.

“Okay, who are we missing,” he heard Pink ask. He forced himself to focus and saw Pink talking to Orange who was looking down at her tablet.

“Cyan, Blue, Green, and White,” she answered after looking up. 

“Where have we checked?”

She looked down at the tablet again, “Shields, navigation, electrical, weapons, and we just checked storage.”

Pink sighed, dragging a hand down her face. “Okay, Purple go check medbay and Yellow go check O2.”

Pink pressed a coffee mug into his hand and he automatically wrapped his fingers around it. He took a sip and he finally caught up to his mind. White was missing. “White was with me when I went to storage,” he told Pink, a tight grip on her forearm.

“He was in there with you,” Orange asked, worry etching permanently into her face.

“No, no he was outside and the door shut before he could come in but I heard so many footsteps outside, someone must’ve seen him.” He frantically looked between the both of them, pleading for one of them to have some sort of information.

“We didn’t see him,” Pink replied softly, placing her hand on top of his, “but someone must’ve seen him. Neither of us fixed oxygen but someone obviously did, maybe it was him, either way, we’ll know when Yellow comes back. I know it sucks but we just have to wait.”

He gritted his teeth and sat there, his leg bouncing anxiously underneath the table. He didn’t want to sit and wait, he wanted to get up and search for him, search for anyone they were still missing. He wanted to get up and pace. He needed to move and not think and he needed to breathe. He really needed to take a fucking breath. 

He took a deep breath, getting as much air into his lungs as possible before letting it all out in a sigh. He took a large sip of coffee and took a little comfort in Pink's hand on his and Orange's thigh bumping into his. But their comfort wasn’t enough. It wasn’t a warm hand on the back of his neck and an even warmer forehead pressed against his in a kiss that meant so much more than any other kiss he’s ever received.

His mind helpfully supplied him with images of White torn to shreds and looking at him with blank eyes. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to burn the image away. He hated doing nothing. He hated sitting here. He hated being here. He hated this ship, He hated this job. He hated not knowing where White was. _Please let him be okay, I need him to be okay._

“Found these two in oxygen, both were unconscious when I got there,” Yellow strained as she dragged in Green first and then Blue. “Blue woke up and helped me carry Green but then suddenly he just collapsed again.”

“Any injuries on them,” Pink asked, standing up and hurrying over to them. Orange and Black joined her, kneeling on the ground and checking them for injuries.

“Besides some nasty bumps behind their heads, no.” Yellow slumped against the wall, trying to catch her breath. “Did we find anyone else yet?”

Pink shook her head and dropped heavily onto the floor, staring tiredly at the two unconscious men, worry taut in her shoulders and in the way she held herself. “Still waiting for Purple.”

Thankfully, Purple came a few minutes later with Cyan who had a bandaged arm. “He was in medbay trying to stitch himself up.”

“What happened,” Pink was quick to ask.

“When the lights went out, someone came in and tried to attack me. They scratched my arm and left before the emergency lights turned on.” He grimaced when he moved his arm a certain way, dots of blood starting to bleed through the white bandage. “I wasn’t able to see who it was.”

“Someone was with me too,” Black spoke, “in storage. After lights when out, someone crawled into storage from a vent, I didn’t see who, though.”

Pink sighed again, “Okay so two encounters, probably four since those two are knocked out.” She pushed herself up and off of the floor, rolling her shoulders back before heading back to the table. “So we’re still missing White.”

They heard a loud bang coming from the left side of the ship.

Black ran before anyone could say anything. His feet carried him through the halls until he turned a corner and slammed into someone. He pulled back quickly, and he could’ve cried, in fact, he did when he saw White staring back at him. He wrapped his arms tightly around him. “Don’t do that again,” he mumbled into his shoulder. “Don’t do that to me, please.” 

He was finally able to breathe easy. He relished in the feeling of hearing White's heartbeat and feel his breaths tickling the back of his neck. _He’s okay, he’s alive_. He repeated those thoughts over and over in his head, clinging to the fact that these were true and not just hopeful guessing. 

White's arms encircled his waist, “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Oh thank god, you’re okay,” Black heard someone say in relief behind them. They pulled away from each other to look and saw a few people staring at them. Black wanted to shrivel up under their gazes. He wiped away his tears and looked away. 

“What was the loud noise,” Pink asked.

“Someone locked me in security and blocked the door,” he answered. He moved to the left and pulled Black with him to let the others see the mess of boxes and other shit that the impostor had stacked in front of the door. “Someone chased me down the hall and I went in there to hide.”

“So three people, probably five, have had an encounter with the impostor,” Pink sighed, “There’s probably more than one.”

That unsettled Black to his core. He assumed that there probably was more than one but it wasn’t just a guess anymore, it was a fact. More than one impostor was walking amongst them. Sharing smiles over coffee and telling jokes as they did tasks. It made him feel sick to think that he’s probably been comforted by one of them over Red's death. It made him want to vomit when he realized one of them probably comforted Pink, maybe they even got satisfaction from it. Comforting someone over a death they caused. 

They all walked back to the cafeteria, Black constantly keeping his hand wrapped tightly around White's wrist. He breathed a little easier when he saw that Blue and Green were awake. They seemed a little dazed and were holding ice-packs to their heads but otherwise seemed fine. Well, as fine as anyone can be during all this.

“Oh good,” Pink said, relief seeping into her words. “How’re you guys feeling?”

“Shitty,” Blue grumbled.

“You remember what happened?”

“We fixed oxygen, lights went out completely, and the next thing I know I’m being woken up by Yellow,” Green said, groaning a little when he moved the ice-pack around to a better spot. 

“Shit,” Orange cursed under her breath.

“Again, who had an encounter with the impostors,” Yellow asked.

Black, White, Cyan, Blue, and Green all raised their hands. “So five people, all who didn’t see anything because the lights were off. Fuck,” Yellow said. She leaned her head back against the wall and rubbed her arm with a grimace. 

“What about the people who didn’t,” White said, “Where were all of you guys?”

“I got stuck in shields and I hid ‘cause I heard someone running towards me but when I peeked it was just Yellow who said she was going to try and fix the lights. I was too scared to move and I didn’t think to go with her,” Pink explained, sending an apologetic glance to Yellow who waved her off.

“I had been grabbing something from my room, then lights and oxygen went off, and then I ran into Pink,” Yellow confirmed. 

“I was in weapons,” Orange spoke up, “figured that if shit was gonna go down, I was gonna die fighting.”

That made Black smile a little.

“I did see her in there when I left navigation,” Purple held up a small knife, “she tossed this to me which scared the absolute shit out of me. And after is when we both ran into Pink.”

Well shit. Everyone had an alibi. Turning off lights was a smart move, nobody could see anything and anyone. He glanced at everyone. It was so fucking hard to tell if anyone was lying. They all looked tired and scared. He shifted a little to look at Yellow, who was just out of sight, and noticed a little splotch of blood on her suit. “Did you get hurt,” he asked, nodding his head at her sleeve.

She furrowed her brows and looked down before realizing what he was looking at. She pulled her sleeve down to reveal a small jagged cut on her forearm, “Got cut trying to turn lights back on.” 

Pink stood up from her seat on the table, “Okay, I guess, everyone just turn in for the day. I know not everyone finished tasks but I don’t want anyone out right now. Cyan take those two to medbay and watch over them for the night and Yellow go get that cut taken care of before it gets infected. Remember don’t break curfew and we’ll have another meeting tomorrow.” She muttered a ‘goodnight’ to all of them before heading for crew quarters.

Black wasted no time in heading for his room, White following after him. “Do you want me to stay with you tonight,” White asked softly, his fingers catching Black's when he finally caught up to him.

Black squeezed his fingers before letting go, “No. I just- I need to…” He nodded lamely to his room door. Before he was able to go in, White's hand cupped the back of his neck and urged him forward. Their foreheads met briefly and then Black was pulling away and shutting the door behind him.

He needed to stop caring so much. As much as he hated the thought, he seriously hated thinking this, White could be one of them. He was going to try and put more space between them and ignore the warm sparks still tingling on his forehead and the phantom fingers cupping his neck. He shouldn’t be so trusting of anyone. He shouldn’t care so much about these people. He thought he’d be good at it, he’s always distanced himself from everyone back home. But he underestimated the fact that when you spend every single day with people in such close quarters, whether you like it or not, you get to know them. And he got to know everyone and care about everyone. But he got the closest to White. He got attached to him and it was going to be so fucking hard to put space between them because he likes White so fucking much it hurts.


End file.
